Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Logic in Loss

Verse of the week Job 19:25-26: "I know that my Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth; And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh, I shall see God"

I aimed at memorizing one verse a week starting about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I got the first one down pat right away (which isn't like me). It came from reading something else and the verse was in there. I knew I wanted to memorize it because as I read it, I received revelation. Then the second week came...... I searched and searched, being overwhelmed by the vast number of "good" verses that I could memorize, many of which I had a general idea of already but none stood out to be dwelt upon. I came across these verses one day (P.S. I don't really like to read Job) and they were underlined in my Bible. I don't recall when I read it the first time (no I didn't buy my Bible used!). I didn't understand them and I didn't have any reason to memorize them but settled there anyway. I tried to blog about them two different times but nothing seemed to work.

Almost two weeks later, I was still having trouble memorizing them verbatim partly because of how busy I had let my head become with other life issues. Then something happened.....
I was going through life normally through the holidays and a loss occured. I had been pregnant but saw the life that I was created to nourish slip away.
Denial......
Devistation.....
I was unsure of how to feel right in that moment.
What was happening? Obviously that is a rhetorical question as I knew what was going on, but really? I didn't even know I was pregnant to begin with. To find out you were pregnant and loose it all at the same time made my head spin. I had previously wondered how I would react in such a raw moment of tragedy and loss and then is when I found out.
I hit my knees. I thanked God for His giving and taking away and I re-affirmed my love and devotion to Him. He didn't change just because I suffered loss. He didn't leave when I was sitting alone in the bathroom crying out to Him. He was right there. He is still the creator of all that we know. He is still all powerful, all mighty, all righteousness, all knowing, and all loving.
We live in a world that has tragedy because of the fall. That is the way it is......but what are we going to do with it?

I was, and still am as I work through this, faced with the logic of my faith combined with my loss. IF God didn't change and IF He makes good things out of anything, then there MUST be good that comes from this. I have drawn closer to Him now than before and my comfort in Him is stronger than ever. I have also had the opportunity to share my story with a few and it should be no surprise to me (although it is) that it has blessed and answered some questions for others!

So, with all that said, I go back to Job. He didn't even have the Biblical story of the hope of a Redeemer and yet in his time of supreme suffering and trial we find him proclaiming that not only does his Redeemer live, but even when his skin is destroyed, he will see God. Wow! At some level I know how he feels now. Those verses will be forever embedded in my heart as a promise that my Redeemer lives and I will see God! What will your response be in the face of loss and tragedy?
For now, I know that the Lord has said our little Kiah Elaine is dancing with Jesus and I can add one more to the quiver of the Campbell's. If we have another, he/she will never replace Kiah, they will only be another added to the Kingdom of God. We felt the urge to name her and Kiah has been another story in that I would be glad to tell another time.
Be blessed this season and remember that our Redeemer lives and no matter if you are joyful over your circumstances or grieving over a loss, you WILL see God!

4 comments:

Cindy DeGroot said...

That was wonderful, Meica; loved it! And even though we know it was not God who did the "taking away" (That was Job's own perception in his own case), I truly loved how you brought out that no matter what we go through, no matter what our loss may be, if our heart is toward Him, we WILL SEE GOD! Absolutely! When I went through an unwanted divorce back in 2004, the loss to me was like a death, and I, too, was devastated. But my precious Redeemer did indeed show Himself to me in greater ways than I had seen before. How totally awesome our God is! Thanks, Meica!

Cindy DeGroot

Cindy DeGroot said...

(P.S. I forgot to clarify myself! When I said that it was "Job's own perception in his own case", I was referring to when Job said, "God gives and God takes away." Even though those words are recorded in the Word, that was what JOB himself thought God did. But God Himself is a Giver of life; the enemy is the one who steals, kills, & destroys. I know we sing that song where the chorus says, "He gives & takes away...", but that song takes it's words from Job's own mouth, not what God actually does. Just wanted to clarify so I wasn't being confusing! -- Cindy D.) ;-D

Anne Lawson said...

I'm glad you named her. I remember the Kiah story.

Call me sometime about the theology behind Job 1:21.

Erin Dorr said...

Thank you for sharing this, Meica. God is good. You're a strong woman and ALL of your children will "rise up and call you blessed." Proverbs 31:28
I'm prophesying ; )